Where do I belong?

Isaiah 43:1 “But now, this is what the Lord says – He who created you, O Jacob, He who formed you, O Israel: ‘Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.’” 

I sat in complete shock as the leader of my Bible study group made the announcement that one of our members had passed away that week. I was devastated at the loss of someone so young, but the truth was that my greatest hurt was personal.

I had been part of this group for the better part of a year. Though we had met weekly, certain privacy rules hindered our opportunity to know each other deeply. Even though we prayed for each other, the requests were carefully worded by the leader who had contacted each participant during the week. Often the real meaning behind the request was lost in the interpretation. When the leader asked us to pray for this dear young woman who was ill, I had no idea how sick she really was. For all I knew it was a cold that persisted through the frigid months of winter.

Now I sat in this group of women who were reeling from what had happened. The worst part was that the other women seemed to know. They had befriended the deceased in other venues such as church or as neighbors living in the same town. I lived some distance away and had no other interaction with any of them. At that moment I felt as if the circle of fellowship had closed and I was left on the  outside, alone with my grief and the loss of my connection.

Have you ever experienced this kind of loneliness? Has the realization ever hit you that even in the middle of a huge crowd you truly don’t belong? Everyone else seems to be an integral part of what’s going on, but you don’t seem to fit in?

We live in the town where Dad grew up and all of you children have gone to the same school that he did. You have walked the same halls, played basketball on the same courts, and even had some of the same teachers. Though I have found a comfortable place in this small country ville, there is sometimes still a nagging sense that I am just a transplant from a large suburban city in New Jersey. I feel as if I don’t truly belong like you all do. I know this is just a feeling, but at times the feelings can become overwhelming and real.

One day when I was lamenting my experiences of “not belonging,” I began to pray about this tendency I had to feel about being on the outside. As I poured out my heart to the Lord, I heard a very clear voice speak. He said, “Sandy, you may feel at times like you have no roots anywhere, but you BELONG TO ME. I created you, I formed you, I have redeemed you and YOU ARE MINE!”

I cannot tell you the feeling of peace and comfort those words spoke to my heart. There will always be places where we don’t fit in, information that we will not be privy to, and experiences we cannot share. But for those who are children of God there is a place where you will always be comfortable – in the hands of the One Who gave His life so that you could BELONG TO HIM.

Love,

Mama