How to Build Stronger Christian Family Relationships This Holiday Season

 “For this is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another.”

1 John 3:11

Dear Family,

Our recent holiday gathering reminded me once again of the importance of love and forgiveness in families. Nothing dramatic happened this year, but close quarters and comfortable familiarity always create opportunities for tension. It’s funny how the people we should love the most are sometimes the ones we find the hardest to live with – something all of us experience even in Christian family relationships.

Biblical Families Faced Conflict Too

Recently, I read an article in my Dictionary of Biblical Imagery about brotherhood and was surprised, again, to recall how many biblical families faced difficult and even antagonistic situations. Jealousy and strife showed up early in Genesis when Cain killed his brother Abel. God accepted Abel’s obedient sacrifice but rejected Cain’s disobedient one. Instead of repenting, Cain attempted to solve his problem, tragically, through murder.

The discord continued with Jacob and Esau as they battled over the birthright. Later, Joseph’s brothers sold him to passing slave traders just to rid themselves of a sibling they viewed as insufferable.

Story after story reveals how sin can separate people who should be bound together in love.

Why Forgiveness Is Essential in Christian Family Relationships

And the truth is, families today aren’t much different. It’s hard to overcome negative emotions that develop when imperfect people share life together. Parents sometimes show favoritism – or children think they do – and those assumptions can grow into misunderstandings or wounds.

As a parent, it breaks my heart to imagine that I may have done something that hurt my children, even unintentionally. But the reality remains: I’m human too. Misunderstandings happen in all Christian family relationships, even when love is sincere.

That’s why forgiveness and forbearance are absolutely essential. Jesus told His disciples to forgive their brother “seventy times seven” – a metaphor for ongoing, continual forgiveness. Paul reminds us in Ephesians to “bear with one another in love.” That’s always important, but sometimes it becomes especially challenging during the holidays when everyone is packed together.

The Blessing of Showing Up: A Practice of Presence

Many families try to avoid these challenges by staying home and exchanging holiday greetings through FaceTime or text messages. But the article I read pointed out that familial relationships, extended to the body of Christ, are meant to be relationships of presence whenever possible.

Paul longed to see the faces of the believers he loved. He even instructed Christians to “greet one another with a holy kiss.” You can’t do that from a distance! Scripture paints a picture of personal, close, embodied connection, a language of presence that carries blessing, even when it also carries inconvenience.

Connection Comes with Challenges—And Blessings

I deeply desire this kind of closeness within my own genealogical family, and also within the family of God. But gathering, especially in large groups, brings its challenges. Crowded living spaces, unfamiliar sleeping arrangements, creative meal plans, and differing personalities can be the perfect recipe for conflict.

Still, nothing replaces the gift of rubbing shoulders, sharing laughter, enjoying personal interactions, and even working through disagreements. The hard work of bearing with one another in love and practicing forgiveness is not optional. These struggles, humbly faced, pave the way for unity. They build character, deepen compassion, and strengthen the bonds of true love. Real love does not give up.

A Prayer for Our Families This Season

My prayer for our family – and for yours – is that we will continue to grow not only in numbers, but in love, patience, and forgiveness. This is what God offers us, and it is how He wants us to live. May you experience deep closeness with your family and friends this holiday season, and may God bless you through the beautiful gift of presence.

Love,

Mama

If this message encouraged you, share it with someone in your family—or a friend who may need the reminder that love, forgiveness, and presence truly matter. Let’s keep growing together in the way Jesus taught us to love.