What Love is Not!

John 13:34-35 “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”

What is love not? This is a question that has been running through my head lately. In the last hours of Jesus’ life on earth He spent a great amount of time exhorting His followers to love one another. God is love and if we want to be like Him we must exhibit the characteristics of love that prove we belong to Him. But do we sometimes misunderstand what love is and replace it with actions or attitudes that are not in tune with God’s love nature?

1. Hiding Sin – Though love forgives it is often thought that we must ignore sin in someone’s life. Jesus did not do this. Constantly He brought people to the place where they were confronted with their transgressions and given the chance to turn away. Sin is damaging in so many ways and a true friend should “speak the truth in love.”

2. Doing Everything – When we love someone it is easy to try to do or give all we can for them.  While the Holy Spirit gently draws us to saving faith, we must make the choice to believe. God also gives us commands to obey, but we are responsible to adhere to His laws. He does not force or do it for us.

3. Giving Everything –The Lord is a shepherd who gives us all we need but not everything we want. True love gives and does good things, but withholds the things that would not be beneficial or would be harmful.

4. Stuffing Hurt – If we are hurt by unkind words or actions it is often thought that love will stuff these feelings away and act like it never happened. The pain gets stored away and the conflict is not resolved. When Peter denied Jesus before He went to the cross, his heart was broken over what he had done. After the resurrection Jesus spoke with Peter about the circumstance. Three times Jesus asked Peter, “Do you love me?” Then three times Jesus told Peter to feed His sheep and lambs. The hurt was brought into the open and Peter’s aching heart was healed.

5. Being a doormat – Often we think that “love bears all things” means we are to be a human doormat. Jesus did whatever the Father asked Him to do. That was His chief concern. There were times when He left a crowd of needy people to go off and pray. He loved each of the hurting people dearly – enough to give his very life for them – but He was not controlled by their whims and desires.

6. Fixing Every Problem – Things go wrong and it is easy to want to jump in, fix it, and make the problem go away. In doing this we often short-change a life lesson that needs to be learned. True love will stand with someone while they struggle through certain difficulties. It cheers them on and encourages them so that they can come out of it a stronger, more confident person. Paul asked God to remove his “thorn in the flesh” three times, but God’s response was, “No, my grace is sufficient for you in this trial.”

7. Making Everyone Happy – There have been times when I have heard misguided people say, “God just wants me to be happy.” Often they are using this as an excuse for a wrong behavior or choice they are making. Love does not try to make everyone happy. Love does what is best for the loved one even if it means that life is uncomfortable for a while.Do you want the world to know that you are Christ’s disciple? Then you need to love others the way He did. “Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.” This is what love is, but make sure you consider what love is not?

Love,

Mama